Forgiveness? Sign of Peace? Help! UPDATE

Thank you so much to all of you who commented and sent emails regarding this situation. In the weeks since the original post, I came to peace about the whole thing. I applied Allison's ideas about how to pray for my "enemy" and I began to get little reminders of the things I've done in my past to deeply hurt others. One day it hit me hard: I was unwilling to forgive someone who hurt me and my family yet I expected forgiveness for what I had to done to hurt someone and his family. I had to admit what I did was far more willful and wrong than what was done to me. The light bulb went on and I forgave, as I am forgiven.

Over the last week or so, I made peace with some other things I've carried way too long. It wasn't intentional, it happened over a couple of walks and a couple of quiet days here at home. I recognized a tendency in myself to covet others' happiness and good fortune. Ouch. What an ugly trait that is. I prayed about it and felt it also begin to lighten.

Tuesday afternoon I got the call to serve in the ministry I originally wrote about. In deciding whether to commit to it or not, I didn't even consider my "enemy". That seemed settled. I prayed at a Eucharistic Adoration yesterday for some kind of answer. While there, I picked up a Bible and began looking for scriptures. In the Presence, the Word leaped off the pages at me over and over again in a way I've only experienced a few times. Here are a few of the answers I received:

2 Timothy 2:15-16 Be eager to present yourself as acceptable to God, a workman who causes no disgrace, imparting the word of truth without deviation. Avoid profane, idle talk, for such people will become more and more godless,

I Timothy 6:6 Indeed, religion with contentment is a great gain. Only as I typed this did I recognize the connection with my struggle with covetousness!

Hebrews 12:14 Strive for peace with everyone, and for that holiness without which no one will see the Lord.

All scripture quotations are from the New American Bible, which was the translation in the Adoration Chapel (and the translation used in Catholic liturgy).

There were more scriptures. I wish I'd thought to write them down. Next time I will know better.

I accepted the call to this ministry. I am at peace with my "enemy" and with the fact that meetings for the ministry will be held at the "church that broke our hearts." God is good and I will strive for peace with everyone and for holiness. Lord have mercy.

Oh, I almost forgot to add. I'm certain one reason for my overall sense of peace is I'm praying the rosary on my daily walks. It is a practice I'm still learning but I know the days I pray the rosary I am able to keep the peace better than the days I do not. I noticed the same thing about weekly mass attendance a few months ago. Weeks I miss mass are weeks I struggle.

Blessings,

Sandy